How To Love Your Mother…
Now I’m so knowledgeable in this area, because I’ve had two amazing women in my life who are mothers….my own mom and the mother of my children….If I could apply even half the lessons these two ladies have tried to impart to me….then I would be one amazing guy…..(could you say…”Power to the mothers!!”)
John 19:26 (from the Message bible) “Jesus' mother, his aunt Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene stood at the foot of the cross. v26 Jesus saw His mother and John, the disciple He loved standing near her. He said to His mother, "Woman, I want you to take John as your son." v27 Then to the disciple John He said, "This is now your mother." From that moment the disciple John, accepted her as his own mother”.
Mary witnessed the crucifixion from the foot of the cross. Can you even begin to imagine how she must’ve felt?
Jesus turns to John and says, take care of her like she was your mother, He then looks at His mother and says, let him stand in my place as your son. John lived a very long life, and I believe he took care of Mary until she was received into heaven.
So we have this word picture, of Jesus on the cross, bearing the weight of the sins of the whole world on His shoulders, yet He sees to it that His mother is taken care of after He is gone!
As God, Jesus is dealing with the weight of timeless eternal matters, but as a man, He’s showing all of us today how important it is to take care of and to love our mothers!
Mothers are amazing. It is well and good that today is a day marked off to say thank you to all the moms….., the stay at home moms, the working moms, the single moms, the struggling and victorious moms who give so much of themselves to their families, fulfilling the sacrifice of Christ in the most humble and incredible ways.
To you all we say, “Thank you. We could not be who we are without your love and sacrifice.”
As an abandoned child, (Yuup, that’s My picture at 6 yrs old on the screen, …that’s how you spell trouble) But, Lola Elliott was the lady who took me in and raised me as her son, taught me about Christ, and made sure I had the Godly influence of the church. When I was struggling with my own self-worth, and confused by insecurities and a need for acceptance… she sat me down and said the most important words she could have said….She said “Charles, when my own two children were born, I had to accept whatever came, but I saw you and I chose you to be my son!!!!” She was not my birth mother, but I was the son, born from her heart…..
The Bible has much to say about motherhood. The story of redemption is full of many stories of women, women who brought down kings and raised up kings, who preserved the people of God and who opened the way for exodus, conquest, and redemption.
Along the way, many of these stories are stories of women who worked, wept, and waited for children—women who saw their place in the story of God as being related to their calling in the place of motherhood.
stories such as Sarah, Rebecca, Hannah, Mary, Elizabeth, Bathsheba, Ruth, Jochebed and Zipporah testify to the diversity of paths that may all be called, faithfully, “motherhood”.
“Motherhood” mysteriously takes many forms, as each person who finds that role to be part of her story works out what it means in her own calling and election, in the face of her own challenges and in the joys of her own blessings.
We do motherhood a disservice when we try to make it take one form and one shape and one size fits all…. Indeed, no two moms are any more alike than any two sons or daughters are alike.
Moms need to be free, to be the best YOU that you can be, to become unlike any other mom you may have ever seen, but to be what God has called you to be in the life of your family and the high calling you have been given. Mom’s need to learn from the example and wisdom of other women as well as you can, but don’t try to become them. God did not give your children to them, but He placed them in your care, He entrusted them to you, so for their sake, be the BEST YOU, that you can be!!!!.
You honor the trust you have been given, not by simply imitating others, but by seeking out the gifts and blessings that you can uniquely offer your children. That freedom is not a license to be irresponsible by claiming…”this is just the way I am!) but it comes with an immense challenge, that by struggling, collecting wisdom, and discerning what is right and faithful, you can become exactly the mother God created you to be rather than a copy of someone else.
God gives us different mothers because we all have different needs and challenges. Some of us struggle to understand boundaries and responsibility, some of us struggle to find our independence. Some of us children need to be coaxed into hitting the books, some who are book-worms, need to be coaxed out of them from time to time. Some of us need more help making friendships, some of us need more help understanding what it means to have boundaries in our relationships.
Different mothers do things differently, and part of the challenge in this role—like in many of the things God calls us to— is figuring out what it means to do it, uniquely as you are called to do.
Motherhood, is a Divinely chosen calling, and it is intensely personal.
But that doesn’t mean it’s all about you. Listen, if I have one challenge to give you today, it’s to learn the awesome mystery, that as personal as your calling is, it is not all about you.
In fact, in the call to motherhood we can clearly see the challenge everyone, everywhere faces as they are called by God to do anything. We must learn to live as most moms live, as though the world doesn’t revolve around us.
In accepting any call of God we lay down any claim to our own self-interests, and place ourselves at God’s disposal.
Hear that well: when I say that motherhood is not about you, It’s not just about your children, either. Rather, it is all about God’s call on your life as a mother…..What you want or desire, will be added as you seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you”, as you participate through Motherhood, in God’s story and mission.
May God bless your work, Mom, because often the rewards aren’t seen right away, but it is His work, because it is part of His mission, for the sake of His glory. It is one place where, amazingly, you become co-workers and co-creators with God, His ambassadors of loving, of longsuffering, of mercy, of compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, and reconciliation….
I wrote a poem for my Mom, who is with the Lord….
I entitled it, “The Mother Inside of You”
Your Mother is the place you came from, your first home here on earth...
She's the guide you follow, as your life takes shape and you discover your values and worth. She's the first love you experienced, the first heart entwined with yours, no one can take that special place, In the eyes of a child, so adored. As time goes by, with it’s shifts and turns, your love grows ever strong and true, And the mother who carried you inside of her, now you carry inside of you...
Mom, your name means something important! In the original Hebrew, the first mother’s name is “Chavah”. This name embodies both the essence of life itself and the creative ability to grant that life to others. The idea of “Mother….Chavah…” expresses not only the ability to physically give birth, but also to create, nourish, and enhance every area of life. This is the ability of a mother to take something from it’s rough undeveloped state, nurture, shape and develop it, and bring it to it’s full potential through her God given gifts and abilities. If your mother has gone to her reward, you can appreciate her contribution to your life by living your life to honor her and be a credit to her memory.
If you still have your mother with you, regardless of her age, you can love her in these 7 ways….
1. You need to Love her verbally.
Men usually have the philosophy—“I don’t have to say I love you, you already know it. I have told you before, if I change my mind I’ll let you know”! Or, “I may not say it but I SHOW you my love”, and that may be true, but a woman needs to hear those wonderful, soothing, magical words, that honor and lift her to the high places… “I Love You!”
Children need to hear it…and saying it makes you more of a man, not less! Our spouses need to hear it frequently and for us guys, that’s something we have to really keep working on….
I came across this letter to Abby, the advice guru in the newspaper columns…..DEAR ABBY: I enlisted shortly after Pearl Harbor. Thirty-six days later, I was on my way to the Philippines. En route, the Philippines fell to the Japanese, and we were routed to Australia. Eleven days after we landed, I met the most beautiful girl in the world.
On our first date, I told her I was going to marry her, and I did, 18 months later, while on a 10-day R-and-R leave from New Guinea. After more than 57 years of marriage and two children, my beloved "Mary" died five days before Christmas. Although we agreed that our ashes were to be scattered over the mountains, I found I could not part with hers.
While Mary was alive, she would frequently say, "You don't know how much I love you." I'd reply, "Likewise." But I never said those words, "I love you." Now her ashes are here on my dresser, where I tell her several times a day how much I love her, but it's too late. Although I wrote poetry to her, I could not bring myself to say the three words I knew she wanted most to hear.
As my loving wife was dying and we thought she was comatose, I told her often, "There are not enough words to tell you how much I love you. "Before she died, she woke up and she whispered, "Not enough words" and then she passed away. The reason I'm writing is to urge men to express their feelings while their loved ones are alive. I don't know why, but many men are reluctant to express the depth of their feelings. – Very truly yours, MISSING MARY IN COLORADO.”
Our spouses need to hear it, our children…and our mothers also!
Some men would say, I’m just not tuned that way…then get retuned! Or they’ll say, “I’m just not comfortable”…then you need to start being uncomfortable until it feels comfortable, for her sake!
Love her Verbally…
2. You need to Love her physically.
When’s the last time you gave her a big hug without her asking for it…or a kiss on the cheek, or a neck rub, or just sat on the couch and held her for a change?
She’s the first persons who ever touched you…because she wrapped you up in her womb for 9 months, and when you came out into the world, her first priority was to hold you, and she cuddled you, stroked your head, rubbed your feet, held your little cheeks against hers, and gave you something to hold onto …in love she did all these things, including grooming you and kissing away all your BOO-BOOS!
When you were little she Would say, “give me sugar”, and you’d pucker up and she’d accept your wet, sloppy kiss and even say thank you! You gave her bear hugs so tight she didn’t have to hold on to you…you’d just cling to her skirt or her hand as she walked around!
She changed your diapers, potty trained you, and held the Kleenex for you to blow your nose! She wiped food off of your face years longer than she should have ! She constantly touched you!
And then came the day when she handed you over to someone else and she stepped aside. Her life has gone through some heavy changes, but she deserves your touch and she should never have to be without that physical sign of endearment! Your physical touch…..
It would mean more to her than flowers or candy, or eating out, or a diamond necklace [well, let’s not go too far with this!]
Folks hug their animals, their favorite clothes, their stuffed toys, they even hug trees, so certainly we can save lots of hugs for our moms…Whenever I visit the convalescent home and give the older ladies a hug, You can tell, they’re starved for that simple, innocent brand of physical contact…..a hug. (they all want one!)
You need to love your mom Physically and Verbally… 3. You need to Love her patiently…..Mothers have an incredible job with no pay. No position in the business world compares to the physical, emotional, and spiritual commitment she has in motherhood. No occupation is so demanding with so little training or preparation….
One poet has written….She rises up at break of day and through her tasks she races. She cooks the meals as best she may and scrubs the children’s faces. While schoolbooks, lunches, homework too, all need consideration... Still, the census man insists, that she has— “No Occupation.” When breakfast dishes all are done, She bakes a pudding, maybe. She cleans the rooms up, one by one, With one eye on the baby. The mending pile she then attacks, by shear determination, and yet the census man insists, she has — “No Occupation.” She irons for a while, then she presses pants for Daddy. She welcomes with a cheery smile returning lads and lasses. A hearty dinner next she cooks (no time for relaxation), and yet the census man insists, She has—“No Occupation.”
Don’t ever make the mistake of asking a Mom, Do you work, or do you just stay at home? The only thing worse you can ask her is when she’s due if you’re not 100% sure she’s expecting!
And many ladies today have to work in addition to the full time job they already have at home.
Here’s the point, in spite of all she does for us, we often become impatient with her… Sometimes what you don’t say is as important as what you do say……
So, love her patiently. Because she’s so sensitive to your needs and focused on what concerns you…be careful that you don’t take advantage of her, or fail to appreciate how much she cares about you….it’s more of a reason to be patient with her and to love her and honor her!
So, for all of us older and younger children with living mothers: Love her patiently.
An 80 yr. old mom, wrote a letter to her kids, and when they opened it, this is how it began…. “To all my children”:
“I suppose my upcoming birthday started my thoughts along these lines...This is a good time to tell you that what I truly want are things I can never get enough of, yet they are free. I want the intangibles. I would like for you to come and sit with me, and for you to be relaxed. We can talk, or we can be silent. I would just like for us to be together. I need your patience when I don’t hear what you say the first time. I know how tiresome it is to always be repeating, but sometimes I must ask you to repeat. I need your patience when I think too much about the past, when you have to put up with my slowness and my set ways. I want you to be tolerant with what the years have done to me physically. Please be understanding about my personal care habits. I spill things. I lose things. I get unduly excited when I try to figure out my bank statements. I can’t remember what time to take my medication, or if I took it already. I take too many naps. Sometimes sleep helps to pass the day. Well, kids, there you have it: Time, Patience, and Understanding. Those are priceless gifts that I want. In his letter to all his spiritual children in the Lord, the Apostle Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” I know I can, too! It’s a wonderful feeling to know His eye is on the sparrow and I know He cares for me. I guess being old isn’t so bad after all!....With Love,Your Mom.”
So, Love your mother Patiently…
4. You need to love her attentively.
A Godly mom, will always listen as you pour out your heart…she has a sympathetic ear, and always has…and even as an adult you’ve gone to her when you wanted someone who would really listen and understand…and she’ll always be on your side, regardless of the other problems she’s juggling.
They did a documentary about men who were going to be executed for capital crimes. They interviewed the men and their mothers, too. Invariably the moms would say, He’s such a good boy! Interviewer: yes, but he slaughtered 37 people with an axe!... The mom’s response was, “I know, but he has a good heart!” (that’s a mother’s love)
It’s no wonder we like to talk to a Godly mom…she listens…but she may be getting up in years, she has issues of her own to deal with, and it’s your turn to be her “rock”…and take time to listen…!
“But, (you may say) she’s always complaining”…yes, just like you did!
“She only talks about herself, and she asks the same question over and over”…yes, just like you did!
In their older days, our parents have many fears, worries, and anxieties.. May we treat them as we would hope to be treated when we are in their shoes!.....Love them Attentively and Patiently…
As I was writing this message, this poem came into being as well, I entitled it…. “In a Mother’s Hands”….
Her hands are now twisted with age and years,the hands that encouraged me to press beyond my fears. Sometimes those hands, had to bend this young child. For they were giving boundaries that must last for a while.
Now her hands are more beautiful than anything could be.
For her hands are the reason, that I have become me….
6. You need to love her generously…..There’s nothing too good for her, we could never repay her, but we ought to try before she is gone and the moments are lost!
How many times did she refuse to spend on herself until all your needs were met…she could easily do without, and now it’s time for her to have something she wants! How many times did she give up opportunities so you could have more opportunities!
Here’s a math question for you…. If there’s a family of10 at the table and one apple pie, how much does each one get? Each one gets One ninth! Because if mom is at the table, she will always say she doesn’t want any, so everyone else can have enough….! …..So, Love her generously…
7. You need to love her honorably. …..If I spoke to my mom the way some kids do today, I wouldn’t even be her to speak to you today!!!!
*…..Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother: that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given you”.
No matter how old you are, or how far you may go, this command is still in affect……! Some might respond….“Yeah, but my mother wasn’t very honorable!” Well, the Bible says nothing about that qualification…it only asks, is she your mother, then she should be honored!
By the way, only one of the 10 commandments includes a clear built-in promise of the blessing of a long life and the enjoyment of what God has given you! …..If you can’t do it for her, do it for yourself!!!!
I saw this on the internet….When God created mothers, He was well into His sixth day, when an angel appeared and said, "You're adding a lot of extras with this one." The Lord replied, "have you seen the specs on this model? She has to be completely vulnerable but not weak, She must have 180 moveable parts, Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap and a backside that instantly disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointing love affair; And six pair of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No way!" "Well, It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pair of eyes that mothers have to have.
"One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks 'What are you kids doing in there?' and she already knows.
Another in the back of her head that sees what she doesn’t want to, but what she needs to know, and of course the ones in front that look at a child when he goofs up and says, 'I understand and I love you,' Without ever speaking a single word.
"I'm so close to creating something that is so like myself. Already, I have one who heals herself when she is sick ...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger ...and get a nine year old to stand under a shower. Not only can she think, she can reason have insight into things before they happen, and the ability to compromise."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran a finger across the cheek of the mother. "There's a leak," it pronounced, "I told you that you were trying to put too much in this model." "That's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear." "What’s it for?" asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "It's for expressing joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and it’s her way of showing pride in her family."
"You're a genius!" shouted the angel.
With a serious look on his face, the Lord said, "I didn't put it there, her love and concern for her family created that."
Mom’s, in closing, I want to give you God’s formula for happiness, fulfillment and contentment in your life. (You should put this on the fridge)
1 Thessalonians 5:15 follow (focus on) that which is good, both in yourself, and to all people. Verse 16 Rejoice evermore (at all times in everything). Verse 17 Pray without ceasing (at all times in everything). Verse 18 In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Verse 19 Quench not the Spirit (acknowledge and be aware of the Holy Spirit working in and through everything).
Verse 20 Despise not prophesying (be yielded to the Holy Spirit to hear what He is saying as He brings revelation). Verse 21 Prove all things; hold fast that which is good (test everything by the Word of God, and good Godly council, from those who are sound and solid in the faith and who minister in the word of God).
Verse 22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. (Leave those things alone, which pollute the well of your spirit and diminish the power of God in your life)
Verse 23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (God can only sanctify what we consecrate and separate unto Him)….Your tongue, your ears, your eyes, your activities, your relationships and friendships, your life patterns, and all the things that you dwell on and give a place of importance….
How about a big hand right now, for the crowning jewel of God’s creation: our mothers!
Closing Prayer for Mothers….
Heavenly Father, as a mother gives life and nourishment to her children, even so you watch over your Church to nourish it and give it life. You have entrusted moms with the care of every precious human life from its very beginning in the womb. You have given to women the capacity of participating with You in the creation of new life. Give her courage in times of fear or pain, understanding in times of uncertainty and doubt, and hope in times of trouble. As a child’s first teacher and guide, grant that our moms may be given the wisdom and council to nurture the faith of God, within their children. Help these moms to grow daily in the knowledge and understanding of Christ, and release in them the gifts necessary, to impart this knowledge faithfully to their children, and to all who depend upon them. We speak blessing upon "spiritual mothers", those who, though they may have no children of their own, nevertheless selflessly care for the children of others -- of every age and place in life. Grant that they may know the joy of fulfilling this motherly calling, whether in teaching, nursing, religious life, or in other work which recognizes and fosters the true dignity of every human being created in Your image and likeness.
Send the Comforter of the Holy Spirit, to all mothers who sorrow for children that are ill or seperated from their families, or who are in trouble or danger of any kind. May Your Holy Spirit constantly inspire, enlarge, refresh and strengthen these as the supernatural mothers You designed them to be. Let the example of their faith and love shine forth.
Lord, Grant that we, the sons and daughters, may honor them always with a spirit of profound respect, honor, and appreciation. May our mothers, receive Your Grace abundantly in this earthly life, and may they look forward to eternal joy in Your presence in the life to come. We ask this through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns, world without end…..AMEN.
